Agbeke: The story of an African woman who survived challenges of life | Femi Ladapo

The first time I met her was on a Monday morning in January 1973. We were kids reporting for secondary school.

The ones in boarding house had reported in the hostel on Saturday.
The students came from various backgrounds.

There were those from High Class homes.
Most were from Middle Class backgrounds. I belonged to that group.
The third set were from obviously Poor Homes. There weren’t many of them. Their parents were mostly illiterate. Agbeke was in this clan.

Agbeke was a day student. She lived in the village very close to the school. She lived with her grandmother who made and sold Pap (Eko) in the village.
She was not bothered by the affluence displayed by the well-to-do children.
In those days it was not unusual to have a nick name. Agbeke had many. “Omo Iya Eleko” (Daughter of the pap seller), “Agbeke Aba” (Agbeke from the village)”Ugly duckling” were the ones I remember.

She would laugh at these jokes meant to taunt her.

On Saturday mornings we had “Eko ati Efo”. Agbeke would bring baskets of “Eko” to the school kitchen very early in the morning. The interesting thing was she was not ashamed or laid low. She enjoyed doing all her chores. After some time, the other girls from the girls hostel started joining Agbeke on Saturday mornings.

One thing however stood her in good stead. AGBEKE WAS VERY BRILLIANT.
She was good at almost everything.
She was a leading member of the Dramatic Society.
In the Top Three in the Literary and Debating Society.
We were very close. We were both unsocial. Michael was the third person in our triad. We were small and unexposed.
We worked together for the Arts Exhibition at the British Library in Dugbe.
The only pass time my friend had was Reading and Writing.

When we finished school and the results came out, Agbeke was the only girl in what we called the “Top Five” then. She came out in Grade one with distinction.

We went back to our homes in the cities. Agbeke remained in the village.

Agbeke worked as a Clerk in the school and got involved with a Youth Corp member serving in the school. (Youth Corpers were like demi-gods to students then, having already passed through higher institutions).

The corper left after a year only for Agbeke to discover that she was pregnant. When we were in the universities, our friend was a Single Mother in the village at less than twenty years old.

Michael and I visited her once in the village during the long vacation.

In 1981, I had gone to University of Ibadan for an Invitational Scrabble Competition during the Long Vac.. We used to gather for Scrabble either at UI or Poly Ibadan during the long vacations and each person reps his school.
Alas, my opponent from University of Ilorin was Agbeke.
Agbeke graduated in flying colours.

Some years back I found my friend again on Facebook. Agbeke Aba has become a Professor and works in one top University in the United States of America. Agbeke’s second attempt at finding love had failed, she told me. It almost broke her down but she threw herself into her books.
I inquired about her son. He works in Lagos with one of the communication companies.
She survived the second bout of heart break.

About two months ago, my old school mate was diagnosed positive of COVID-!9 infection. I was worried but prayerful.

Last week, Michael called me and asked me to go check Agbeke’s status. Mischievous as ever, he did not tell me what to expect. I called Mike back but he didn’t pick my calls. I was worried. I was offline. I wasn’t anywhere near my laptop.

The hours before getting home were “Not Easy’.

On Agbeke’s Status was her picture full of smiles THANKING GOD FOR SURVIVING THE BOUT.

My immediate message to her was “THREE-ZERO”.

SHE HAS SURVIVED AGAIN.

Agbeke always survived because she was dogged. She is a fighter.
She didn’t let the “Village girl” status get her down or discourage her then in school.
She came out of her misadventure with the corper.
Her marriage failed but she didn’t crash.
Now she has survived COVID-19.

NO MATTER YOUR SITUATION, WITHDRAWING INSIDE AND BROODING WILL ONLY MAKE YOU WORSE. SELF PITY WILL ONLY WORSEN YOUR SITUATION.
GET OUT OF IT EVEN THOUGH IT IS NOT EASY.
WHEN THE STORM CATCHES YOU UNDERWATER RELAXING WILL GET YOU SWEPT AWAY BY THE UNDERTOW WHICHTHE PEOPLE ON THE SHORE DON’T SEE.
WHEN YOU STRUGGLE AND GET YOUR HEAD ABOVE THE WATER, YOUR HELP WILL COME AND YOU WILL SURVIVE.